A fridge: not always what it seems to be

Why is it that people hardly ever make me cry? But music or books do? Maybe it’s because most of the people around me are very nice or, in the worst case, simply neutral towards me.  There are only a few human beings that bring out the worst in me and even then they just make me angry or frustrated, but they never make me cry.

Sometimes reading a touching book or listening to a special kind of music (depending on the mood I’m in while listening) brings tears to my eyes, and sometimes I have to stop reading or turn off the music in fear of losing it completely. Not that this happens every week, not even once a month, but the fact that there is something somewhere deep down inside of me that I can’t control is frightening. So why does that never happen with people?

A few years ago I took an exam course in leadership and management skills. At the end of the course every student was assessed by the two teachers who accompanied us throughout the course (which lasted over a year). Those two men really supported me with their assessment (I’m being ironic here). First, they told me to better play up my feminine charms (what they really meant was feminine attributes) at work (!!) to achieve more. Of course I was thrilled to hear that advice. Secondly, and what could really have destroyed a less strong character, they told me I was a refrigerator. I was completely stunned by this. It got even worse when they tried to overanalyze my being a fridge.

When they kept telling me that there must have been some terrible incident in my childhood, I almost had to cover my ears. Even though I tried to explain that I’m just not a very emotional person and that I usually think first about whether something or someone is really worth the loss of energy of an emotional outbreak or not, they weren’t convinced. However, I still passed the exam, even with my emotional failings. Obviously, being a refrigerator has its advantages too, or so they thought.

After all these years I sometimes wonder why I’m like this. Not because this pseudo-psychological assessment did any damage, but because I have come across so many people in so many different positions and most of them are more emotional than me. It is true that I have never freaked out at work (and probably not at home, either) yet. But is that really a bad thing? It doesn’t mean that I don’t take things personally, or that nothing affects me, it just means that I take a step back and look at the situation from a distance before overreacting.

Fortunately, I met two very nice guys during the above-mentioned course. They had the perfect solution for me when I told them about my assessment (after having stopped laughing): if I don’t want to be a refrigerator in a certain situation, simply pull the plug. Easy enough, what do you think? And it doesn’t even have to be me who does the unplugging (even though I have a say in this matter, too).